Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
