summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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