He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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