I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
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