I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I am one with the molecules
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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