No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
