I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
organizing the empties. That sober.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I just forgot I was standing up.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize
