oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
