Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
