My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
