So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
