It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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