my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
