we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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