i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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