White coat. Heels.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
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