i just google imaged poop.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
