That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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