I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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