i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
