Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize