Whoa Z and x make the same sound
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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