Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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