ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
