I love having hate sex.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
