kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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