The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
