So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
