Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
