"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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