Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
