their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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