so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
