Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
