if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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