ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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