Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
