why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
