when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
