Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
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