just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
