Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
it glows. i had to have it.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
