he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
