you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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