if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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