Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
