How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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