it wasn't lemon gatorade
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
He better not be in your backpack
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
