Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
