We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
