Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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