did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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