i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
