i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
This house was built for laser tag.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
