you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
