We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
4 words: hood of his car
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Randomize
