When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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