Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize