Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
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