I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I just found puke in my bra..
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Randomize
