My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
the raccoons are back...
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