Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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