People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
