absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
