we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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