margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
