Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
