i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
You have to summon your inner elephant
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
