you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Randomize
