I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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