In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize