walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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