are you so shy because you have an std?
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
