Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
